Anita is our Web Developer/Tester Intern. You’ll find her transcending her projects as she graces the world with whimsical verses and puns.
Whilst she might try to deny she is a spy or the Leader of the Whole Wide World, do not be fooled: the illumAnita exists.
Beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep! You open your eyes.
You’ve woken up to a shining sun and a day of work ahead of you. You can hear pigeons at your window, buses down in the street below… and that stinking alarm!
– To get out of bed, go to 1.
– To hit the snooze button and get a few more minutes of sleep, go to 2.
You sit up in bed and stretch. You saunter to the kitchen and have some breakfast. It is, after all, the most important meal of the day. After washing up, you pack your bag and start making your way to the Information Services offices at Argyle House.
a. Go to 3.
You jolt awake with a snort. You glance at the time. Oh no! You should have left for work ten minutes ago! You fling on some clothes, dash to the bathroom, and leave your flat at breakneck speed. When you arrive at Argyle House, you sprint up the stairs to the Information Services offices. On your way in, you nearly whack your manager in the face with the cumbersome door. “Good morning!” he greets you with an expression bordering between startled and bemused. “What’s that on your face?”
a. Ach, it must be some toothpaste, you’re such a mess! Go to 4. b. “What? My face?” You reach up to feel… Go to 5.
You get to your desk and settle in. You’re ready to get the day going! You have loads to get done today at your position as
You must have been in such a rush this morning, you got toothpaste all over you!
a. To go to the bathroom to clean it off, go to 6. b. You’re already late to work and shouldn’t be wasting time. Best to just haphazardly wipe your face with your hand and hope for the best. To get straight to work, go to 3.
Uh oh, what’s that lump? That wasn’t there before. Your manager sends you to A&E and it turns out you have mumps! You spend the next week off work, lying in bed sick. How unfortunate!
a. THE END
You step into the bathroom and glance at the mirror. Jeeze-Louise, you look a state! You freshen up your face and straighten your clothes. That’s much better.
a. Go to 7.
As soon as you step out into the hall, you realise that you forgot to bring your staff badge with you. Dang it! You’d think this wouldn’t happen so often now that you’ve been working here for 9 weeks. Alas, now you have to stand there awkwardly waiting for someone to come along and open the door for you. Suddenly, a figure appears in the hallway with you.
a. Oh good! It’s one of the other interns you know. Go to 19. b. No, wait, never mind. You don’t know this person. Hopefully they can still help you out. Go to 13.
Yes! You manage projects and you love it! How shall you start your day?
a. To start by answering some emails, go to 11. b. To write a blogpost about your internship, go to 16.
You get straight to work. In your role, you’re working on a tool which will help University website owners scan their sites for tracking cookies. It’s fascinating stuff! In fact, all this thinking about cookies is making you hungry…
a. To go to Sainsburys and buy a bite to eat, go to 10. b. To visit the snack cupboard on floor H-East, go to 7. c. Nah, you better just keep working. To move on to other tasks, go to 11.
You make your way across the street to Sainsburys. It feels good to be on your feet when you’ve been sitting all day. You grab a few items and decide to treat yourself to a bag of double chocolate chip cookies. You’re so hungry that you scarf down a cookie while waiting for the crosswalk light. When you arrive back at the office, your colleague asks, “What’s that on your face?” You reply, “Do I have crumbs on me? How embarrassing!” Your co-worker just shakes her head.
a. Go to 5.
You catch up on your emails and go to a meeting. The day is going pretty well so far! It’s time for lunch.
a. If you brought a (superior) Boots meal deal lunch with you, go to 12. b. If you need to go out and buy an (inferior) Sainsbury meal deal, go to 10.
Mmm, tasty! Time to get back to work.
a. Go to 16.
The figure floats over to you. He seems to be… shimmering? “Um, excuse me, could you help me get into the office? I’ve left my badge-,” you start to explain. “I cannot,” he cuts you off. “You see, I am the Ghost of Argyle House.” Whoa! You’ve never met a ghost before! You have so many questions! After a few minutes chatting about walking through walls, it turns out the ghost is very friendly. “Sadly, I do not have the power to move this door,” he says. “Do you want to hang out for the rest of the day instead?”
a. To hang out with the Ghost of Argyle House, go to 14. b. To politely decline, let the ghost get on with his ghost business, and wait for someone from the living realm to let you in, go to 19.
What a fun day to spend with a ghost! You get ice-cream and head up to Edinburgh castle. Then, something miraculous happens. As soon as you arrive at the castle, the ghost catches his breath. “This place feels like home!” he exclaims. “I’ve always felt like an outsider at Argyle House, perhaps this is the place I was meant to haunt all along!” This does explain the old-timey attire. The ghost is so overjoyed to have finally found his home, he tells you that he’ll grant you one ghost-wish. Cool! You didn’t know ghosts could grant wishes!
a. To wish for a pet fox, go to 15. b. You ought to get back to Argyle House! You should wish that no one would notice you were gone. To grab lunch at El Falafel and make your way back to work, go to 16.
The fox is so adorable and kind-hearted! The two of you were destined to be together. What shall you name it?
You decide to get to work on your intern blogpost, it’s due tomorrow after all! Now, the hardest part is deciding what to write…
a. To write an analysis of Kanye complete with rhyming limericks and beautiful charts generated by Python code, go to 17. b. To write a down-to-earth, honest blog about your experience interning like a normal person would, go to 18.
Wow, word sure travels fast! Everyone is so impressed by you. It is universally acknowledged that you are the leading wordsmith of Argyle House. No one has mastery over the form and fluidity of the English language like you do. You walk through the staff area and people are throwing roses at your feet. Someone crowns you with a laurel wreath. Today has been a good day.
a. THE END
You look at the clock, the work day is over. Today sure flew by fast. You pack up your things and start walking home. You round a corner and come face to face with a fox! You lock eyes. You seem to have an instant connection. You try to leave it, but the fox follows you home. Ah well, looks like you have a pet fox now. There’s nothing you can really do about it.
a. Go to 15.
Good thing one of the other interns came around! As she’s letting you back into the office she tells you that she’s filming video interviews of students for her job and asks you if you want to participate.
You were born to be on camera! You are beautiful and confident. You express your thoughts with eloquence and ease. Your ideas are innovative, yet your values are pure. You’re a natural!
a. Go to 17.
You apologise profusely. You’re sorry but you just don’t have time! Besides, you don’t think you’d be very good at that sort of thing. You get back to your desk and work diligently for a few hours.
a. Go to 18.
Johnathan seems pleased with his name. You lead long and happy lives alongside each other. Your life is meaningful and full of joy.
a. THE END
What a lovely name! You take out your flute and start playing it. David Hume gets on his hind legs and does a little dance.
a. THE END